"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." ~~Buddha. As I navigate these murky waters, finding it hard not to turn back and even harder to ignore the trials ahead, this is the "present moment" I try to concentrate on.
I mean, I didn’t say I was perfect, y’all said that. But if it’s true, then what do I have to show for it? If the things I’m asking for are obtained by mediocre people who make mistakes, maybe I need to make some mistakes. But of course not, that’s ridiculous, so for now the facade stays on. These things I just can’t grasp yet, some day though.
In reality, there is nothing wrong with me or any of us for the most part. We’re just not on the same page.
I hope that you’re the oneeeeeeeee,
If not, you ARE the prototypeeeee.
I once read an article that argued based on our personality types and identity, we can predict when our emotional, intelligence, and physical highs and lows will be. Of course, because we are all so different in respect to personality, these highs and lows come at different times for all of us. At the time it seemed like another attempt to connect a mundane fact such as a birthday to how we function as individuals, almost like a zodiac sign or a tarot card reading. But now, I have some different thoughts.
For about a month a half, I have felt like I have been on emotional and intelligence highs. Not only did I exceed my expectations on the ACT and done surprisingly well on some assignments that I haven’t been well prepared for, but some new friendships have blossomed, and my old ones have been very stable. The only thing that hasn’t been going well is my ‘physical loop’, and I haven’t been the best player I could be on the baseball field all season. So pretty much…A.K.A. everything has been going really well. But now, just as my closest friends, my parents, and my sister seem to be entering their highs, I seem to be falling back.
In the time when I was experiencing my highs, nothing was affecting my mood. I just felt really good about everything. Now, this past weekend and some talks with my closest guy friends have got me feeling down. I wish that I could help them with what they’re dealing with, but all advice I can give them seems to be bad. They don’t respond in the ways I would like them to. And I can’t stand to think that they are making bad decisions with their lives. Also, I have let my hopes get the best of me, when the outcome is always the same (actually, I think that’s the definition of insanity, doing the same thing repeatedly, failing, and expecting a different result). So with all of these things happening, it is really affecting my mood in a way that it hasn’t in the past.
But I’ll just push through, I’m confident that I’m well on my way to being in a position I’ll be very happy with. And I still love my friends hahaha